Deep Thoughts

Deep Thoughts by Jack Handy was one of my favorite SNL skits.

Here are some great Deep Thoughts I found here...

"I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history,
in every culture, is the story of Popeye."

"To me, clowns aren't funny.
In fact, they're kind of scary.
I've wondered where this started
and I think it goes back to the time
I went to the circus,
and a clown killed my dad."

"When I was a kid my favorite relative was Uncle Caveman.
After school we'd all go play in his cave,
and every once in a while he would eat one of us.
It wasn't until later that I found out
that Uncle Caveman was a bear."

"I wish a robot would get elected president.
That way, when he came to town,
we could all take a shot at him and not feel too bad."

" If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer,
I bet you could shoot beer out of you nose."

"When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future,
don't stick your elbow out the window,
or it'll turn into a fossil."

"Maybe in order to understand mankind,
we have to look at the word itself:
"Mankind"
Basically, it's made up of two separate words
- "mank" and "ind".
What do these words mean?
It's a mystery, and that's why so is mankind."

...Damn, just found more "Deep Thoughts"!