Showing posts sorted by relevance for query white elephant. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query white elephant. Sort by date Show all posts

Thursday, January 04, 2018

White Elephant 2017

Every year on Christmas Eve, my family plays a game called "White Elephant".

Each person brings a mystery present & puts it in a pile. Everyone draws numbers, then takes turns picking & opening a wrapped gift. When you're number is drawn, you can choose to steal a gift from someone else. If someone gets a gift stolen, they pick a new one from the pile.

My family (including me) has a wacky sense of humor and is pretty competitive, so things get crazy fast.

Probably the weirdest gift was this framed piece of "art". It is a nicely matted Happy Birthday plate, with fake butterflies glued onto it. My Dad stole it from someone- but that's only because it also came with a gift card to Cracker Barrel restaurant! Anyway, It was so bizarre that I had to post it:


The gift that I brought was a gag gift, having fun with my Uncle Ron. I used my expert skills to Photoshop his face onto Michelangelo's sculpture of "David," & called it "Ronald". Uncle Ron is a real ball-buster and loves to crack jokes on everyone, so this is my way to give him some good-humored payback.

My nephews were allowed to play with the adults this year. I saw my one nephew go for the box on his turn, & I muttered, "Oh no...." He opened it up & everyone went nuts, laughing at my ridiculous creation.

Anyway, Uncle Ron tried to steal the masterpiece to "keep it out of circulation" as he said. Unfortunately for him, my brother-in-law stole it again, and put it right on his mantle. Luckily, Uncle Ron's got a good sense of humor & realizes he will never out-do me when it comes to prank gifts!



Usually I get lame gifts when I play the game. This year, however, I picked Bailey's Irish Creme chocolate truffles, which I like. I told all the kids they had alcohol (they don't), so no one would steal them from me! It was another fun Christmas Eve with the family playing a fun game that has become an annual tradition.


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Christmas Weekend

This Christmas was alot of fun.

I got to visit with my family & relatives, play with my nephews & niece, exchange gifts, relax, & eat as much as humanly possible. Then I finally had to get in gear to shovel my driveway after it snowed the other night. I was off yesterday, so I slept till noon & then took a few hours to clear the waist-high snowdrift taking up my front yard. I actually like being outside shoveling snow as long as I'm bundled up good & we're not hammered by consecutive blizzards like last year...

All the gifts for my family were made with the help of a laser engraver at my work. They turned out very cool & in return I got a lot of excellent presents. At my age I prefer practical things like tools, clothes, & household stuff. However, I do appreciate luxury items- like the 3/4 lb of beef jerky or the bottle of Gentleman Jack that my brothers got me.

On Christmas Eve, it's now a tradition for my family & relatives to play the White Elephant game. The gift that I made for the game was a picture of my uncle's face that I photoshopped onto a pic of Hugh Jackman at the beach. My cousin ended up picking it & had everyone laughing.

I drew an early number (4) for my turn & the present I chose was a gift bag- that turned out to have a bunch of plastic holly garland in it. :(

Since my turn was so early, there weren't any gifts open that I wanted to steal yet. Luckily, my brother's girlfriend later traded me her gift- a South Park DVD game for it, which was a great trade for both of us.

Here is me trying to figure out what the hell I just opened...

The garland must have sensed my complete lack of enthusiasm, because it tried to strangle me....

Tuesday, January 08, 2019

The Roast of Uncle Ron

In August, my Uncle Ron turned 75, so his family decided to hold a very special surprise birthday party for him... where he would be subject to a "Roast".

Ron is one of the most sarcastic and funniest people I know, so it was fitting to have a chance for a select group of his friends and family to turn the tables on him.

When I asked my cousin who the roasters would be, she told me that I was one of the people they had my mind. Of course, I accepted & started preparing immediately to absolutely skewer my dear uncle!

I spent weeks editing and rehearsing my set, and when the roast came I was ready to make the room (including him) laugh their asses off. The whole party and roast were awesome, and I had a great time being part of it.

My brother Justin took video of all the roasters, and also Ron's rebuttal. For our Christmas White Elephant game, Justin made a BluRay of the video footage & asked me to create a cover for it. I enjoyed making the BluRay cover almost as much as doing the roasting!

(click to enlarge)
 
Here is my set, which starts off with an impression of him, and then I pick him apart piece by piece. I touch on his hoarder-esque basement that I call "Uncle Ronorium's Wonder Emporium", his similarities to Trump (who he definitely doesn't consider his personal hero), and his perpetual baldness, among other things.


Here is a link to the full playlist:


Monday, December 24, 2012

Christmas Craziness 2012


The holiday season is upon us once again.

Today I will be going to my sister's for Christmas Eve festivities. We traditionally play The White Elephant game, which is always fun & hilarious.

Here's some random Christmas craziness I've come across recently:

The insufferable idiots on Fox & Friends, talking to Santa Claus about the silly "War on Christmas".

This is a great post with scans from the Christmas toy wish books from 1978, the year I was born:



An awesome example of needlework, based on a scene with Will Ferrell & Artie Lange from the movie Elf:


 

Hopefully, Christmas isn't cancelled this year...
It looks like Santa has run into some trouble:



Never mind, it looks like Santa ready to ride... in all his psychedelic glory:



...and finally, a Christmas greeting from Cousin Eddie, in "National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation":




Thursday, December 23, 2010

Merry Christmizzle

"Y'all ready for Christmas, biatches?"

It's Christmas time again & I've been busy in my polar workshop making gifts for my family.

Christmas Eve will be a crazy affair w/ a bunch of relatives visiting my sister's house for festivities such as our White Elephant gift game. Then it should be a fairly chill Christmas Day & weekend.

Unfortunately, I will not have an opportunity to celebrate Christmas properly- by dressing up as Santa's traditional demonic helper, Krampus...

Thursday, December 29, 2011

My Mixed-Up Family


Due to a storm, the power has been out at my house for a couple days.
Until I can get back on my computer at home, I'm posting my contribution to the 'White Elephant' game my family plays on Xmas Eve.

Basically, everyone brings a wrapped present to add to the game. Then everyone picks a number & takes turn picking a random present from the pile. My family all have a twisted sense of humor, so some of the presents end up being bizarre or crazy.

This year I was having trouble deciding on what to do for a gift.
Then, in a flash of inspiration, I decided to Photoshop the group pics from Thanksgiving to make insane mixed-up family portraits.

The one with all the guys is really funny because of all the baby heads.

I like to set the bar really high when it comes to creative gifts...

(My face is in the middle, & I'm all the way to the left in the original photo.)


Click the image for a bigger version:




Monday, November 10, 2008

Black Man Given Nation's Worst Job


I've been waiting this past week, expecting Obama's victory last Tuesday to be some sort of cruel prank.

Seeing as Dubya was escorting the President-elect around The Den of Iniquity (aka The White House) today, it looks like Obama is in fact headed to office. He has the special honor of cleaning up the huge pile of elephant crap left on America by the years of Republican party rule.

Leave it to The Onion to inject a laughably relevant spin on the situation: