Monday, May 19, 2008

The Election Multiverse

The idea of a multiverse - multiple, or even infinite, parallel universes existing simultaneously - has been pondered & discussed alot in physics, philosophy, and science-fiction.

Just the problem of free-will vs. destiny could fill volumes by itself. However, for all practical purposes, we can say almost anything the mind can imagine is possible. I started thinking about all the possibilities that could exist for even a single situation, like the outcome of the US Presidential election. Most people think "Oh, well it's easy, you fool, either a Democrat or a Republican will win!"

I'd say there are way crazier things that could happen that are neither choice A nor B. Sure, they might not seem possible, but alot of things don't seem possible... until they happen.

I'm channeling the multiverse and listing some of the myriad possibilities that currently exist for January 20th 2009. It has the potential to be one of the most significant days in history, regardless of the situation.

In order of the situation that I'd personally most like to see first:
  1. The true progressive, Dennis Kucinich unbelievably wins through write-in votes, shocking the nation and the entire human race. However, he leads America into a Golden Age of reason, compassion, innovation, and prosperity. His smart & lovely wife, Elizabeth, is his Vice-President.
  2. Barack Obama wins the election, & turns the established bureaucracy upside down like a modern-day Akhenaten. His VP is Dennis Kucinich. America is saved from oblivion.
  3. Obama wins with John Edwards as his running mate & they lead the way in cleaning up The War Monkey's enormous mess.
  4. Obama wins, with any other Democrat as his VP- including Hillary. America is returned to a course of sanity & fiscal responsibility.
  5. Hillary is nominated and wins the election. She chooses any of the qualified Dems for VP & takes the country in a positive direction.
  6. By the end of the summer, the technology exists to jack everyone into a virtual hive mind. As a result, there is no need for a governing body of any sort - all decisions are made through the Borg-like collective consciousness.
  7. Either Obama or Hillary wins & chooses a Republican running mate. It might be strategically smart to pick someone competent from the other side of the aisle, like Chuck Hagel or another conservative who isn't a ideologue or a pandering hypocrite. I would personally not be thrilled about this possibility, though.
  8. Ron Paul leads his 'Ron Paul Revolution' into the GOP convention & takes it over! He wins the election, and his first act in office is to immediately abolish the Federal Reserve.
  9. Ralph Wiggum wins as a write-in candidate after a media campaign by Fox.
  10. Kids who are too young to remember the 2000 election see the "new guy" Ralph Nader enter the race & forget all about Obama. John McCain wins, thanks to another Nader run. America continues it's descent into oblivion.
  11. Obama is the nominee, but large numbers of white Americans would rather see their way of life crumble under a regressive Republican plutocracy than vote for an intelligent Harvard Law graduate with a multicultural background. John McCain wins. America continues it's descent into oblivion.
  12. A dimensional portal opens and predatory alien entities flood our world, rendering governments useless. The election never takes place & mankind is scattered about the globe like cockroaches.
  13. There is a violent shift of Earth's magnetic poles due to uncontrollable cosmic forces. Civilization is wiped out from the catastrophic effects & only a small number of people survive. Al Gore is one of them, and finally becomes President of New Earth.
  14. "Skynet" comes online & the nations and military forces of humans are subjugated by autonomous Robot Armies. "Asimo" is declared the first robot President.
  15. Bush & Cheney simply can't leave office without risking exposure to massive war crimes & fraud on the American people. So, they refuse to leave office, citing "Executive Privilege". The Democrats complain a little bit, while the citizens grumble & shake their fists before going back to their deteriorating lives. The United States is changed into The United Empire of America.
  16. The Bush Inc. War Profiteering industry finds any loss of business unacceptable. A "terrorist attack" by "Iranian agents" causes George W. Bush to immediately declare nuclear war on Iran, wiping out bases and innocent civilians in cities. Before the election, a state of martial law is put in effect & Bush declares himself President-for-Life. Democrats, anti-war, and other liberal vermin are labeled "terrorist sympathizers" and placed into contracted Halliburton work camps. Dick Cheney's sick fantasy has come true & the rest of the world's nightmare begins.
  17. I wake up to (what I think is) Inauguration Day. I'm filthy, tired, & feel absolutely miserable... To my horror, it was all a dream. The year is really 1840 & I realize I'm actually a child who works in coal mines. I don't know or care whose President at the time because my life sucks so bad.
  18. Because of the massive amount of debt we can't pay, China announces that the US is now part of the People's Republic. World War III commences & our elections are suspended due to the crisis.
  19. Anne Coulter becomes the first "female" President by some strange electoral anomaly that turns out to be the direct influence of Satan. He appears, in a horrifying physical form, to act as her Vice-President.
  20. Bill Gates completely buys out the Electoral College, Congress, & Supreme Court with a billion dollars. He crowns himself "Supreme Technocrat" and mandates Windows Vista operating system on every single computer in the nation. Apple Computers are outlawed & I kill myself out of sheer desperation.

Wow, that was oddly cathartic.

Of course, I've only listed 20 of the infinite possibilites for this particular situation. I'm sure the universe will serve up a scenario that is probably different than all of these somehow. Since I am not really in the mood to challenge the entire universe right now, I'll stick with this list for now & see what "Reality" has to offer.

Hopefully, it's something that resembles one of my top choices,

...but I'm not holding my breath.

click to enlarge

(If you look close,
I'm in the green universe.)

aka "The Monkeybuddhasphere™"

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