Monkey Wars

As if the imminent Robot Wars weren't bad enough to add to the state of global chaos...

Now it seems that monkeys in India (who obviously haven't realized their Monkey Buddha nature) are engaging in vicious attacks that are being answered with bigger monkeys, trained by humans! Here's the article BoingBoing linked to:

BBC: "Monkeys Attack Delhi Politician"

Of course, the invasions of Afghanistan & Iraq could also be considered "The Monkey Wars"-

Comedy Central's Lineup is Gold

Tonight Comedy Central has had a lineup of the hands-down funniest shows ever created. The multi-episode "Imagination Land" South Park story is the craziest TV possible, with appearances by the multitude of characters. The cast of Imagination Land's esteemed Council of Nine is hysterical by itself: The Narnia Lion, Morpheus from the Matrix, Popeye, Jesus, Wonder Woman, Zeus, Gandalf, ummm.. Luke Skywalker, hmmmm, c'mon memory... &... someone else. Anyway, Sarah Silverman's Program is living up to her stand-up & real-life sense of humor. Then there's the greatest show pairing ever, The Daily Show and Presidential Candidate Stephen Colbert. Comedy Central has put together an awesome night of programming.

The really revolutionary aspect of all these shows, though, is the unfettered creative freedom to express the craziest and most taboo human ideas and experiences. By revealing the absurdities of the human condition, great comedy frees the soul by breaking down the psychic confines of the thought structure known as the ego.

This is definitely a golden age of artistic expression. As a professional artist, the infinite sea of creative novelty engulfing the human race can be overwhelming to consider. I mean, how can you come up with something more original than a fat little asshole like Cartman freezing himself so he can awake when the Wii is released, but goes too far into the future & is captured by various science-worshiping factions including a race of intelligent otters?!?!

Come with us, Time-Child...

Ghetto Fried Chicken by Ms. Peachez

My friend Dan forwards me some wacked out stuff, but this might take the cake. I can't help but post this madness for posterity & my own amusement.

The Weng-Weng Rap had a certain amount of coolness to it. However this music video is nothing but crazy. I actually wasted a few seconds of my life and read some commentary about the negative racial & gender implications of this apparently highly-controversial piece. My argument would be that this video is as offensive as a whoopie cushion. It is so silly and laughably insane that it makes the human species as a whole look stupid... which makes it great.

Regardless, I would not get near this maniac, or anything that 'it' was cooking! Where the hell are these kids' parents at?!?!

"Fry That Chicken" by 'Ms. Peachez'
(...who appears to be a chicken-crazed
ghetto transvestite of some sort).
Oh well - turn up the bass, grab a drumstick,
and get down with Ms. Peachez!

"You like the wing? Yep!
You like the thigh? Yep!
You like the white meat? Yep!
You like the leeeeg? Yep!"

Stephen Colbert for President

Sorry Dennis Kucinich & Ron Paul, but my true ideal candidate has parted the pool of contenders- like a modern political Moses.

Stephen Colbert for President

I was watching the Daily Show, & Stephen Colbert announced... the possibility... of choosing.. whether or not... to run for President. 15 minutes later, on his own show, he made the big announcement. Although I would rather have an insightful artist/satirist as a leader than a corrupt politician/CEO/lawyer, some are wondering "can he take the heat?"

I think he should really campaign as a write-in & win the whole goddamn thing. Unfortunately, like Howard Stern's failed bid for Governor of NY, I don't think the brilliant comedic mind of Stephen Colbert is destined to lead us into a 'truthier' future from the Oval Office, which is currently being used as a monkey cage.

Speaking of Stephen Colbert & The Monkey:

The Growing Robot Army

A few months ago I posted about the coming Machine Wars that threaten the very future of humanity. I was horrified, but not surprised, to find that the size and scope of the Cyber Army is expanding to the point of no return. God help us all. No, really... HELP!!!

As an exercise in complete futility,
I am going to link again to Asimov's Three Laws of Robotics.

washingtonpost.com
"Dragonfly or Insect Spy?
Scientists at Work on Robobugs."

wired.com
"Navy Plots Unmanned,
Heavily Armed Fleet"

Data Backup for the Apocalypse

The one thing that's always bothered me about keeping a blog is the impermanence of the media.

In the event of a much-anticipated Armageddon / End Times / Singularity, the work of millions of people would disappear. Perhaps we are in the process of developing a Hall of Records type depository where the recorded thought patterns of humanity can be stored.

I saw this on boingboing & thought that it's as good a start as any.

Nuclear Hardened Data Center

Of course, in the face of a cosmic cataclysm, such precautions (along with the rest of the entire human legacy) will be erased like a drawing in the sand.

If things become so bad where this type of backup is needed, people aren't really going to be worried about screwing with computers...

Movie Spoiler Graphic

Taking graphics to a lighter side, I thought this T-shirt graphic was funny.

One sign of great art is a maximum amount of meaning packed into the design. Looking at this collection of spoilers uncompresses the vast amount of info that these movies contain. Even though I'm not an avid movie-goer I can figure most of these out.

Threadless Spoiler Tee

Death & Taxes

"Death & Taxes" is a visual representation of how our tax money is allocated by Congress.

Being the militaristic empire that rest of the world has learned to despise, half of our tax dollars are put toward the "Defense" Department... where valuable resources & bright people's minds are wasted finding new ways to murder other human beings.

Never Trust A Monkey

...but only if it is a War Monkey.

from Propoganda Remix Project

WW3 or Jail

I saw this graphic on Bartcop.com. I thought it perfectly summed up the danger humanity faces from having America's 2 criminal madmen backed into a corner & looking for another murdering spree to try distracting the world from their horrific misdeeds.

"Making the Same Mistake Twice"

"US Opposition Political Leaders Issue
Urgent False Flag Warning"

There's only one remedy for the terminal cancer that is the Bush Administration, and the only doctor pushing an effective cure is Dr. Kucinich:

H. Res. 333: Impeaching Richard B. Cheney,
Vice President of the United States,
for High Crimes and Misdemeanors

God's Inbox

I thought this was pretty funny. What messages would be in the email inbox of 'God'? (in this case, the personification of the Judeo-Christian deity called Yahweh or Jehova)

Personally, I would mark everything as 'Spam' and take a nap for several billion years. Actually, that may explain our current situation...

click to enlarge

Ancient Art Tech

It's strange how a discipline, such as art, can change so drastically over time. My major technical concern is learning creative software & techniques. During the design process, I don't usually have to deal with materials other than my screen & printer. Back in the day, though, the creative process was much more of a pain in the ass. From making your own pigments and brushes, to simply not having access to the most revolutionary information tool ever created, the Internet. Just looking at the trouble monks had to go through to make ink is much more than my lazy ass would feel like dealing with. Although new media have been developed in recent times, art through the ages has always expressed the endless potential of the human mind.

Monastic Ink:
Linking Chemistry & History

Scholars Give Us Antiquity -
the Colorized Version

Thank goodness I'm living in the age of decadent electronic devices... The only problem would be if some kind of cosmic electromagnetic catastrophe were to destroy all electronic media, alot of my work would instantly disappear. My only consolation is that the rest of the world be wallowing in analog-only hell with me. One thing I'm pretty sure will outlast me is the original stone & metal version of Da Vinci's Challenge I made as a senior design student. Working on that project made me really respect the integrity of the materials & the people who are experts at working with them.

The Jenna Bush Paradox

Well, it takes alot to really shock me, but my mind has been officially blown.
I've pondered the vast perplexing nature of reality from nanostructures to cosmic cycles, but nothing could prepare me for the personal paradox that faced me a little while ago when Jenna Bush popped up on my TV screen talking to Larry King -

Because it's almost unbearable for me to watch her father The War Monkey speak for more than 30 seconds, I must say I was stunned to find Jenna Bush to be completely captivating & authentic.
Has the bad karma simply run out in the Bush bloodline?!?

Although I always thought Barbara was much hotter, I always recognized both the Bush twins for at least being very good-looking. In her interview, though, Jenna came across as articulate, compassionate, and very insightful. My brain could not wrap around the sheer absurdity of there being a Bush that I find really likable. Just thinking about it gives me a headache. I will go on record, though, as saying that I would seriously yank out Dubya & put Jenna in the Oval Office instead. Right now. (I'd be fine with a damn monkey in there instead, so it's not saying much- but still...)

Bush Twins Photoshopped in Maxim

I Love You, Weng Weng

Weng Weng!
I love you, my Weng Weng!
Come to me and kiss me!
I love you, Weng Weeeeeeeng!!!!

Of course, these lyrics may seem absurd at first glance,
but you cannot watch this video and not want to sing it.



"Weng Weng Weng Weng,
2 foot 9,
He'll kick you in the nutsack
from behind..."

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1755976

Tsukioka Yoshitoshi

Tsukioka Yoshitoshi
"Warriors Briskly with Courage"

I randomly came across this fascinating Japanese print of what appears to be a startled monkey scribe about to be reprimanded by an angry human, who obviously doesn't appreciate the novelty of a writing monkey.

Anyway, I looked into the background of the 19th century artist, Tsukioka Yoshitoshi, who was the last master of a Japanese woodblock printing technique called Ukiyo-e. His life story and his other works are equally impressive. The design, textures, and content of his prints are truly masterful & beautiful. As he was living in an era of change from feudal to modern Japan, he was subject to the great social and forces that inspire such great art.

"The night clouds dissolve
Hotei pointing at the moon
holds no opinion"

Tsukioka Yoshitoshi
One Hundred Views of the Moon
"Moon of Enlightenment"

Blogger Play

Blogger Play

As I was logging in to Blogger, I saw on the main page a description of Blogger Play. As a graphic artist and a visual information junkie, this website is like optical crack to me. It is basically a real time slideshow of images being uploaded to Google's servers. The never-ending flow of pictures are as random and as fascinating as the infinite realm of human experience. The universal mind continues to connect and expand...

Lone Monkey
Random photo seen on Blogger Play
(from Lizzy's Blog)

Evolution of Apple

I consider the Macs I use at home & work to be extensions of my mind. It truly amazes me how much creative potential and information can be unlocked through our magic light boxes.

Often, I feel like my life has run directly parallel to the development of personal computing tech. I was born around the time the Apple II came out. In elementary school, my family had the simple Commodore 64, which we only used to play games. Then around Middle School we got a Windows 3.1 PC that I knew sucked, even at the time, if for nothing else than that I had to learn some DOS programming language.

I knew there would, one day, be computers that were actually user-friendly and productive, but when?!?!

What I didn't know was that the Apple Computer was out there, giving ideas to Microsoft to rip off. In high school physics I was exposed to Macs for the first time. Going into college I had a PC with Windows 95 and eventually got a version of Photoshop that I started to teach myself. As an engineering student in college, I was forced into using PCs only, which in retrospect may explain why I ended up wanting to get wasted all the time. I came to my senses and switched to the Mac-friendly & Paul-friendly major of graphic design. For only taking 5 years to graduate, my wonderful parents got me the innovative G4 Cube, my first Mac. At home I now have a single processor G5 PowerMac that is unacceptably slow. "Give me quantum processing or give me death!" At the very least, I have vowed to not buy another Mac until the iTablet comes out, but Steve Jobs is not making it easy at all. Presenting the iPhone was like a sick taunt...

Anyway, this chart from tofslie.com is a detailed look at the greatest product line, ever.

We'll Make Great Pets

Perry Farrell thought aliens would be the ones to domesticate mankind, but perhaps our future overlords are destined to be beings of silicon that we help create. The internet/telecommunication grid is like an embryonic structure that has been connecting and forming like a vast brain for an entity that we can't even imagine.

Do not read this article
unless you want you want your head to explode.

Reason Magazine
"Will Super Smart Artificial Intelligences
Keep Humans Around As Pets?"

"My Pet Human"
karmasoup.org

This is probably more like it:

Hillary Calls Cheney 'Vader'

Hillary Clinton can spew meaningless political platitudes at times & is supported by corporate interests, but calling Dick Cheney "Darth Vader" on national TV is enough to get a vote from me. She isn't exactly correct, though, since Cheney is more like Emperor Palpatine...

Miraculous Tree Mark

"Tree-mendous: Disease Leaves its Mark
Inside Horse Chestnut"

This story about a tree-shaped mark found inside, of all things, a tree trunk reminds me of all the "imaginative" people who say they see holy apparitions in random irregular marks. If you convince enough people to see the face or figure that you see, you can probably make most of them believe its a miracle or sign.

"Woman 'Blessed by the Holy Toast'"

I used to sit on the school bus in the winter and imagine whole scenes in the frost of the window. When I would look out the window at night into the trees behind my parent's house, I would visualize faces & all kinds of forms. I guess it just annoys me that people don't realize that the significance of the form is created in their mind alone & it's not inherent to the perceived form. Basically, people are fooled by the pattern-making nature of their own brain.

Holograms are Virtually Here!

..pun intended...
There were a couple ideas in science fiction that always seemed to be waaay to technologically difficult to overcome anytime soon - teleportation, faster-than-light travel, laser guns, fighting robots, etc. In the mind-boggling time that we live in, these hurdles seem to be much more feasible with each passing day, approaching the information singularity, perhaps?. One future tech that I always thought to be especially tough would be holographic displays. Despite living in a holographic universe, the idea of creating images in thin air seemed far-fetched. Of course, human ingenuity can be surprisingly ingenious.

"Rendering for an Interactive
360º Light Field Display"

Link to story on Engadget


How appropriate that they chose an image of a TIE fighter,
since the next step for this technology is:

Twisted Metal Atomic Clown

At first, I thought this was just a cool graphic, demonstrating superb visual irony. Then I found out that it's an awesome ad for a new Twisted Metal game for PS3. Clowns are scary by themselves, but combined with the insanity of nuclear weaponry this is as nightmarish as imagery can get.

Osama bin Goldstein

Osama through the years: 2001, 2004, 2007


Being an expert in reality manipulation, as well as a complete skeptic, it is hard for me to look at these Osama videos and take any of it at face value.

I don't claim to know anything that I haven't experienced first-hand, and even that's questionable. Osama could be dead, he could be alive in Crawford, TX, he could be a hologram... none of these possibilities would really surprise me. All I know is that he has been The Terror Warriors' perpetual Emmanuel Goldstein and the timing of these past few videos have been, at the very least, suspicious. What I never understand is how the media & intelligence agencies have access to 'Al-queda' websites and members, but they can't pinpoint where these epicenters of Islamofascist terrorist propaganda are located.

Maybe Osama really did dye his beard before making a jihad video in the frontier regions of Afghanistan/Pakistan/Whereverstan. Maybe the CIA/KGB/Mossad now uses an advanced CGI 3D model of the dead Osama to make these propoganda videos... & they forgot to make the beard grey. Maybe Barak Obama is really Osama in disguise!!!! He needs to keep the shaved look as 'Obama', so he had to use a fake black beard for the 'Osama' look using the cave backdrop. That probably as feasible at this point as any other theory:

Star Wars: Then & Now

By far, my favorite movies are the Star Wars saga. The movies have enthralled me since I was a kid, but as I grow older and learn about the contributions of those like Joseph Campbell and Industrial Light & Magic, I really gain a deeper appreciation of the story and production as it relates to overall human culture.

As someone who uses Photoshop daily & enjoys the creative possibilities it provides, I am indebted to the wizards at Industrial Light & Magic who helped develop the original software. I came across this article that goes into great detail concerning the technological innovations that were developed in the production of such movies as Star Wars & Close Encounters:

"Star Wizards"
"How a handful of desperate innovators took special effects to new heights in two 1977 movies—Star Wars and Close Encounters"

The other interesting bit of current Star Wars news is a trailer for an upcoming game, Force Unleashed. They already have the new Def Jam game out, so besides this Star Wars game all the have to do is come out with the next Soul Caliber and I'll be forced to buy Playstation 3...

Indexed: End of 'The Weekly World News'

I think the site Indexed is funny and very clever, and this card reminded me about the tragic end of one of the most entertaining media creations ever - The Weekly World News magazine:


In high school, me and my friends would religiously read the absurdities contained in The WWN during the pre-internet Dark Ages. Of course the greatest story & accompanying picture ever contained in it was the infamous Bat Boy. I had a T-shirt with this picture on it (that I'm surprised didn't cause me to be committed to an insane asylum by my teachers):

I'm pretty sure my mom used to try
hiding this shirt from me so I couldn't wear it.

Bartolomeo Vanzetti: Quoteable Anarchist

I found this quote by Italian-American Anarchist Bartolomeo Vanzetti to be visionary & inspiring. Which is why it isn't surprising that he was executed 80 years ago. I guess in the 1920's "Anarchist" was the #1 scary term for the commies/terrorists/boogiemen of the day...

"I champion the weak, the poor, the oppressed, the simple and the persecuted. I maintain that whosoever benefits or hurts a man benefits or hurts the whole species. I sought my liberty in the liberty of all, my happiness in the happiness of all. I wanted a roof for every family, bread for every mouth, education for every heart, light for every intellect. I am convinced that human history has not yet begun, that we find ourselves in the last period of the prehistoric. I see with the eyes of my soul how the sky is diffused with the rays of the new millennium."

...It's like someone summed up the complete opposite of the Bush, Inc./neocon philosophy!

From the Democracy Now! interview:
"Sacco and Vanzetti: 80 Years After Their Execution, A Look At The Men, the Murders, and the Judgment of Mankind"

It's amazing how major events are just forgotten over time. The infinite number of human experiences lost to history is mind-numbing. Thankfully (maybe), the internet & Google are attempts to reverse the trend.

Art by The "Mentally Ill"

I saw these posts on FindingOptimism.com about art by people who supposedly had "mental illness". That description probably fits 95% of us artists, so I guess it's probably just as representative as a random sampling would be!

Art by the Mentally Ill (Part 1: Famous)

Art by the Mentally Ill (Part 2: Not So Famous)

Picasso and Monet have nothing on John Cadigan, who created this superb optical bug-out monkey design:
After looking on his website, I was interested by his mission statement, "... A large part of art and spirituality are essentially mysterious. Francis Bacon said that the job of the artist is always to deepen the mystery."

I feel that sentiment whole-heartedly, which is one reason I created "Da Vinci's Challenge" - to evoke a sense of mystery in an accessible and stimulating way.

Bible Fight Game

Adult swim has a Flash game version of a concept I've always wanted to make - religious characters in a 'Street Fighter' type game.

[adult swim] Bible Fight Game

What better battle to have than the Prince of Peace vs. the Prince of Darkness?

Another great, twisted game on the Adult Swim website is the game '5 Minutes to Kill (Yourself)'.

Dick Cheney Ignores Himself

It's hard to believe that anything resembling the truth ever came from Darth Cheney...

Dick Cheney in '94
"Invading Iraq Would Create a Quagmire."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MCccFPZAHV0

Let the Machine Wars Begin...

It's fascinating how in this day & age, finding more technologically efficient ways to destroy human life is somehow considered progress. I wonder sometimes, "Haven't these assholes ever seen Terminators 1-3?" All the ingredients are stewing - even liquid metal 'ferrofluid' technology for a T-1000 Liquid Terminator.

"U.S. Military Expands Robot Patrols in Combat Zones"

We are literally one step away from a Robocalypse. I have compiled the visual evidence and it should be enough to make all of us humans squirm like the bacterial sacs of protoplasm that we are.
I don't think anyone ever anticipated just how easily Isaac Asimov's "Three Laws of Robotics" could squashed by a Pentagon-sponsored tank tread.


1st Step: Army Ground-based Robot
Result: Terminator Hunter-Killer

1st Step: DARPA's prototype robotic hand
Result: An army of T-800 cyborgs




1st Step: Ferrofluid dynamic sculpture
Result: Mimetic poly-alloy liquid metal T-1000




Meanwhile, the Japanese are teaching their robots how to dance instead. I'd definitely rather have souless machines tearing up the dancefloor than tearing up people.

"Japanese Teach Robot to Dance"

Create Your Own Simpson Avatar!

Although I haven't seen the Simpsons Movie yet, I have been a huge fan since I first saw them on the Tracy Ulmann Show when I was a kid. It has been standard Sunday viewing after dinner at my parents house for over a decade.

The movie website lets you make your own Simpsons avatar. There's not a whole lot of choices, but it's enough to have a little fun with. I made the Simpsons version of myself & promptly downloaded my Springfield doppelganger. If the shirt was un-tucked & the pants had cargo pockets, it would look like a photograph...

Oil & War - Business First for Bush, Inc.

CNN: "$20 Billion Arms Sale to Saudis"

I thought this cartoon from Bartcop.com pretty well summed up the total hypocrisy of anything that comes out of The War Monkey's mouth, especially regarding the propaganda promoting the inherently un-winnable arms & security profit bonanza called "The War on Terror".

Supposedly, most of the 9/11 hijackers were from Saudi Arabia.
However, since that country is sitting on black gold, & the Saudi royal family controls the country, America has formed an oil-money-weapons symbiosis with the Saudis.

Speaking of 'symbiotes', what's the saddest part of the whole deal? There is a certain country/imperial outpost that our compromised government officials must now openly receive permission from before any move is made. Acting truly "Holy", as usual... as in "Holy Crap":

MSNBC: "Israel OK's U.S. Arms Sale"

Bush & Cheney's America is like a rich addict who does business with a drug dealer, even if the dealer smashes & shoots up his Ferrari... and then sells the dealer more weapons while buying more drugs at the same time, instead of taking steps to get out of his mess.

On the other hand, if you have gone so far down the rabbit hole that you don't think there were Saudi hijackers, then I guess that analogy is partly bogus.

Coverpop

Coverpop.com

I found this site through it's series of patterned chromatic music wheels.

The technology that gives the site its name, though, makes pictures or patterns out of photos from sites like Amazon.com or Flickr.

The 'Coverpops' either arrange mined photos into a recognizable image or a pattern based on image attributes. It is like a visual Google Product Search.

These images link to my 2 favorites:

A Spiral using images of color fields on Flickr.

Sc-fi & Paranormal Covers from Amazon used to create a Grey

Top Video Game Monkeys

MTV has a list of the Top 10 Video Game Monkeys.

The digital primates range from
Monkeyball's cute cartoons with big spiral ears & Pacman eyes-

-to the Justice League's super-brained enemy Grodd.

...who looks like he's about to knock those other monkeys around

Funny Sale Sign

I saw this sign on a box of junk & assorted crap at a flea market while I was on vacation in the Poconos.

Capitalism at its finest...

I should have stolen the sign.